


Marked As Mine

by likezoinxman



Category: Big Time Rush
Genre: M/M, Marking, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, unestablished BDSM relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-29
Updated: 2013-05-29
Packaged: 2017-12-13 07:52:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/821837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likezoinxman/pseuds/likezoinxman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kendall thinks he should probably feel bad for marking Carlos like this, for even <em>wanting</em> to, but he loves it, loves that Carlos <em>lets</em> him do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Marked As Mine

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this forever ago but then I was too embarrassed/ashamed to post it bc this hits really close to my personal kinks and afkldj that's just embarrassing? (also bc i couldn't figure out warnings) but i'm over it and I want to post it now so here i am~
> 
> I marked this as "unestablished BDSM relationship" because the elements are there, but the boys have no idea what they're doing so there are no safe words or anything of that nature. Everything is consensual though and if Carlos ever said "no" or told Kendall to stop, he absolutely would. But I know this is a very uncomfortable take on their relationship so if you're easily triggered by unhealthy relationships or abuse, then I suggest you don't read this. Someday I'll write something from Carlos' POV to show his side of things, but for now...enjoy? (or not, it's totally up to you)
> 
> This is also self-beta'd so my apologies for any mistakes >.>

Kendall finds Carlos talking to Camille down at the pool, smiling and laughing. Kendall stands by the doors of the lobby and smiles, watching Carlos talk animatedly, arms gesturing wildly. Kendall notices the way the sleeves of the hoodie Carlos is wearing almost completely hide his hands, and realizes that it’s one of his own. His smile widens, and he makes his way over, thinking about the reason _why_ Carlos is wearing one of his hoodies, and had been wearing nothing but long-sleeves for the past few days.

He walks over, and sits down next to Carlos, leaning over to drape an arm around his shoulder. “Carlos,” he says, interrupting Carlos mid-sentence. “I need to speak with you.”

Carlos turns to him, eyes wide. “About what?”

Kendall reaches over with his other hand and wraps his fingers around Carlos’ wrist gently. “Something important,” he says and squeezes softly. He watches the way Carlos’ mouth parts on a small gasp, eyes darkening slightly, and feels his own arousal growing in response.

“Oh,” Carlos says softly, and clears his throat.

Kendall smiles at him, and stands up, tugging Carlos to his feet as he does so. Carlos glances at Camille, and gives her an embarrassed smile.

“Talk to you later, Camille.”

“Okay, Carlos. Have fun with Kendall,” she says, and Kendall glances over his shoulder at her. She smiles at him knowingly, and Kendall flushes in embarrassment because it’s not what Camille thinks. Not entirely.

He looks away, and pulls Carlos along with him, hand still wrapped around his wrist. He doesn’t let go until they’re in their room, door closed and locked behind them. He stands in front of Carlos, and then takes a few steps back, looking him up and down.

“Take off your clothes,” Kendall says almost breathless with anticipation. He’s almost ashamed at the immense pleasure he gets from Carlos doing exactly as he’s told without any question. He watches as Carlos strips off each article of clothing, and then stands before Kendall expectantly.

Kendall glances down Carlos’ body once more and notices that Carlos is already half hard. He wants to wrap his fingers around Carlos’ cock, and stroke him until he’s hard and aching, but he doesn’t. It’s not about that, not yet anyway. Instead he reaches down, and grabs one of Carlos’ hands gently, holding it between both of his. He turns Carlos’ hand palm up, and runs a finger tip lightly across the inside of his wrist, tracing the bruise marring his skin.

He remembers how Carlos go it, remembers holding Carlos’ wrists down as he rode him, grip tightening with every one of Carlos’ thrusts that hit him _just_ right. He remembers the way Carlos had struggled against his grasp, begging to be released so he could touch Kendall. (”Please, Kendall, please, I want to touch you.”)

Kendall swallows softly at the memory, and brings Carlos’ wrist up to his lips, eyes closing as he presses a kiss against it. He then reaches down, and grabs Carlos’ other hand, bringing it up to do the same to that one, too.

“Kendall,” Carlos says softly, and Kendall can feel the small tremor that goes through Carlos at the small touch.

Kendall smiles softly against Carlos’ skin, and releases both of his wrists to take a small step into Carlos’ space. Carlos turns his face up towards Kendall, eyes fluttering closed as Kendall cups his face gently in both hands. Kendall caresses Carlos’ cheeks with his thumbs, then leans down to kiss him slowly.

“Get on the bed,” Kendall orders gently when he pulls away, panting lightly.

Carlos nods, and takes a reluctant step away from Kendall before turning around and crawling onto the bed, laying down in the middle. Again without a single word, and again Kendall feels a deep satisfaction that Carlos doesn’t question him anymore. The first time Kendall has asked him to do this, Carlos had wanted to know why, but after Kendall explained to him what he needed, he had accepted it, didn’t question or judge Kendall. He knows what Kendall needs now, and is more than happy to give him what he wants.

Kendall loves it but it also scares him, afraid that he’ll take it too far, take advantage of Carlos’ giving nature. But he needs this, just as much as he needs to inflict the bruises on Carlos. He needs to see and touch and remind Carlos who he belongs to. It makes him feel sick sometimes thinking about how much he needs this, needs Carlos to let him do this.

He places one knee on the bed next to Carlos and looks down at him, eyes traveling up and down Carlos’ bare skin. There are other bruises, on the inside of Carlos’ thigh, on his hips, chest and shoulders.

He thinks he should probably feel bad for marking Carlos like this, for even _wanting_ to, but he loves it, loves that Carlos _lets_ him do it. It drives him crazy throughout the day knowing that they’re there hiding under Carlos’ clothing. Sometimes he can’t help himself and he touches Carlos, fingertips pressing against each bruise, reminding Carlos that they’re there, that _he_ was the one that left them.

There are some that he regrets though. Some that makes him feel guilty and ashamed of himself. He lightly touches Carlos’ hipbones, fingertips ghosting across the surface. Carlos shivers under his touch but doesn’t do anything else, doesn’t move or make a noise, just bites his bottom lip, and keeps as still as possible.

Kendall remembers these too. He’d been too impatient, bending Carlos over the table as soon as they got into the apartment, and Carlos’ hips had slammed into the tables edge as Kendall fucked him leaving nasty dark bruises across the taut skin.

Kendall sighs softly, and leans down, pressing an open mouth kiss to Carlos’ hip. Carlos exhales sharply, and finally moves, hands touching the back of Kendall’s head lightly. Kendall lifts his head slightly, and catches Carlos’ eye for a moment before he leans over, and presses another kiss to Carlos’ other hipbone. 

He hates these bruises, but he can’t help but still love them at the same time because they’re still proof that Carlos belongs to him. He doesn’t know if Carlos would let anyone else do these things to him, and he tries not to think about it too much. Something dark and ugly unfurls in his chest when he thinks about anyone else touching Carlos, _his_ Carlos.

He closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, pressing his face against Carlos’ stomach as he exhales slowly. 

Carlos wiggles against him with a small chuckle. “That tickles,” he says, and tries to push Kendall’s head away from his stomach.

Kendall smiles, and mouths at Carlos’ stomach, teeth scraping against the soft flesh gently. Carlos lets out a soft, breathless noise that’s a cross between a laugh and a moan.

“Kendall, stop,” Carlos says, and pushes at Kendall’s head again.

Kendall pushes himself up, and climbs fully onto the bed, one knee pressing on either side of Carlos’ waist. Carlos runs his palms up Kendall’s thighs, and grips his hips, squeezing lightly before he starts to push Kendall’s shirt up. “Take this off.”

Kendall smiles again, but shakes his head as he leans over Carlos. “No. Not yet.” His clothes make him feel stifled, but they keep him grounded and in control, makes him focused on what he’s doing so he won’t get distracted by all the other things he wants to do to Carlos.

Carlos pouts up at him, and runs his hands along Kendall’s stomach and chest under his shirt. Kendall shudders lightly and chuckles. “In a little bit, I promise,” he says, and presses a quick kiss to Carlos’ lips.

He turns his attention to Carlos’ shoulder next, touching each one lightly before he presses his mouth to every mark he bit and sucked into his skin. Carlos sighs softly, and Kendall feels him relax slightly under him. He takes a moment to press one last kiss to Carlos’ neck and then he’s moving down, lips dragging down Carlos’ chest.

When he gets half way down Carlos’ stomach, Kendall stops and sits up, sliding down further Carlos’ body. He pats Carlos’ thighs and together they move until Kendall is kneeling between Carlos’ legs. He runs his palms lightly along the length of Carlos’ thighs, pressing his thumbs against the bruises marring the inside of each leg causing Carlos to whimper softly.

Kendall licks his lips, and glances at Carlos’ face from under his fringe. “You have really cute legs.”

Carlos lets out a short laugh. “Shut up,” he says, and lifts one leg to hit Kendall in the side with his knee.

Kendall laughs, and grabs Carlos’ leg, tucking it under his arm and pressing it against his side. “I mean it! They’re adorable.”

“You’re a jerk,” Carlos says with a petulant frown. He crosses his arms across his chest, and tries to pull his leg from from Kendall’s hold, but Kendall only tightens his grip, and grins down at him.

“Because I think you’re cute?” he asks, grinning again when Carlos blushes. Carlos doesn’t reply so he leans down, and noses at the spot where Carlos’ leg meets his groin. He trails kisses down the inside of Carlos’ thigh then turns his head, and does the same to the other.

Carlos moans softly, fingers burying in Kendall’s hair and tugging gently. Kendall knows where Carlos really wants his mouth, can see his erection out of the corner of his eye, and feels his own pressing against the front of his pants, aching and uncomfortable. He bites Carlos’ thigh to distract himself from it, just hard enough to have Carlos crying out softly, and pulling at Kendall’s hair sharply.

Kendall runs his tongue over the spot, and lifts his head to grin at Carlos again. Carlos’ chest is heaving and he’s looking down at Kendall, eyes dark with desire. Kendall’s breath catches in his throat at the sight, cock throbbing in response.

“Are you almost done?” Carlos pants, impatient and needy.

Kendall swallows, and sits up, moving to the side. “Almost.”

There’s one other bruise, one that Kendall doesn’t like to think about. This is the one that Kendall hates the most because it brings him nothing but shame and guilt.

“Turn over.”

Carlos looks up at Kendall, hesitation written all over his face. “Kendall…” Carlos knows how much Kendall hates this one, knows how much Kendall hates himself for it.

“Just do it,” he says, and when it looks like is going to protest further, adds a soft, “Please?”

Sighing softly, Carlos nods, and after stretching a little, he rolls over onto his stomach. Kendall’s eyes zero in on Carlos’ lower back immediately. There’s a bruise there on the left side, fading green and yellow thankfully. He’ll be glad when it’s gone forever, and he never has to see it again.

His ears burn with shame as he remembers this one. He had been impatient again, too forceful and not thinking clearly. He meant to shove Carlos against the door but instead of Carlos’ back slamming into solid wood, he’d hit the doorknob instead.

Kendall’s lost count of how many times he’s apologized for this one, how much he’s touched and kissed it, letting Carlos know how sorry he was. It was an accident, and Carlos knows that but Kendall still hates himself for it.

He touches it gently, rubs it with his thumb and sighs. “It’s almost gone,” he says relief evident in his voice.

Carlos hums in acknowledgment and turns his head slightly to look over his shoulder, trying to see down his back. “That’s good.”

“Does it still hurt?” He presses his thumb down on the spot as he speaks, waits for Carlos to flinch or hiss in pain but he just shakes his head.

“Not really.”

Kendall nods, and rubs his fingertips over the spot again, wishing he could just rub it out of existence already. He leans down, and presses a kiss to it before he trails kisses up Carlos’ back to his shoulder. He then leans over and kisses Carlos’ cheek, then the corner of his mouth. Carlos turns his head as much as he can to press his lips fully against Kendall’s.

When Carlos starts to move, Kendall sits back, letting Carlos roll over onto his back once more then swings his leg over until he’s hovering over Carlos again, knees squeezing Carlos’ waist gently, and hands placed above each of Carlos’ shoulders.

He knows the whole thing seems unfair. If anyone found out, they might think he was abusing Carlos, or taking advantage of him since he was the only one that wore the physical evidence of their relationship. And maybe he was, but he would gladly bear any mark Carlos wanted him to, and if Kendall is really honest, he knows that Carlos has already marked Kendall, deep down where no one can ever see. It was in every touch and every look, every moment they spent together and every moment they spent apart and Kendall would always feel it. 

“Say that you love me,” Kendall says, staring intently down at Carlos.

Carlos’ mouth curves gently as he says, “I love you.”

“Say that you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” Carlos says softly, placing his hand on Kendall’s chest over his pounding heart.

It’s not enough, the words are never enough, but Carlos is already giving Kendall everything he has to offer. It’s not his fault that it’s not enough to satisfy Kendall. So he just smiles, and leans down slowly until their lips are pressed together. He bites Carlos’ bottom lip and licks into his mouth, swallowing the moans as Carlos arches up against him.

“Now you say it,” Carlos pants against Kendall’s mouth.

Kendall pulls back, and looks into Carlos’ eyes. “I love you,” he says, voice a rough whisper.

The corner of Carlos’ mouth twitches, and Kendall can tell it’s taking all of his self-control not to smile. “And?”

“I’m yours.”


End file.
